lDj Spinall has released his new album.

Titled, My Story, Dj Spinall specifically requests that we should not skip any songs and just let the album take us on a his story.

The Album has 16 Tracks and features Music powerhouses such as; 2face Idibia, Wande Coal, MI, and Timaya.

Track Listing
1. My Story Intro – DJ Spinall ft Ojokoro Mass Choir
2. Oluwa ft M.I & Byno
3. Money ft 2face Idibia & Wande Coal
4. Tan Mo ft Niniola
5. Fiyenle ft Reminisce , Sojay & Kimz
6. Attendance ft Olamide
7. Excuse Me ft Timaya
8. The Way ft Mafikizolo & Iceprince
9. My Heart ft Rayce
10. Baby ft Tekno
11. Shout Out ft Wande Coal
12. Gba Gbe e ft Burna Boy
13. Skit ft Calibird & Mikky
14. Pepper Dem ft Yemi Alade
15. Feel It ft Sean Tizzle
16. No Sorrow ft Pheelz

Get it here.

Tukur Buratai, chief of army staff, on Wednesday declared Abubakar Shekau, leader of the Boko Haram sect, and 99 members of the group wanted. Buratai appealed to members of the public to provide useful information on hideouts and residences of the suspects in the north-east.

Assuring the people that information given will be treated in confidence, the army boss gave the following telephone numbers: 0818155888, 08160030300, 07053333123, as lines to reach the military. “The fight against Boko Haram insurgency is a collective responsibility of all, including the media,” he said at the Maimalari cantonment where he unveiled the publicity materials containing the names and pictures of the suspects. “These photographs of terrorists’ suspects are to be identified with their numbers attached to each of the 100 photos, while members of the general public could send in more information on the locations or whereabouts of these Boko Haram sect members that appeared in these special photo identifications. “If any member of the general public identifies the location and whereabouts of these suspects, please contact these three telephone numbers.”

The decision to include Shekau on the list of wanted insurgents contradicts initial declarations of the military that the lead insurgent had been killed. As the December deadline of stamping out the activities of the sect draws near, the military has been doing all within its powers to achieve the target set by President Muhammadu Buhari.

Culled from thecable.ng

In an exclusive interview with Sunday Sun at his Minna Hilltop Mansion, former Head of State, Ibrahim Babangida spoke on Buhari’s ministers, Boko Haram, life after power and other sundry issues. While expressing confidence in the calibre of Nigerians chosen to serve in the Buhari cabinet, he appealed to Nigerians to support the government and Armed Forces in the fight against Boko Haram.

“First of all, Nigerians should know that it is not a war limited to the North-east. It touches every part of Nigeria and even outside Nigeria. Therefore, the populace must support whatever action the government is taking because it is a Nigerian problem and must be solved by Nigerians. So, I am only appealing to Nigerians to support what the government and Armed Forces are doing. That will go a long way in curtailing this”.

Asked what kind of support he had in mind, the former Military president said: “Let me put it this way, the cause for which Nigerian Armed Forces are fighting is a legitimate cause. Therefore, it has to be supported. If it isn’t, nobody would care. It is a legitimate cause and all of us, as long as you are a Nigerian, have to support that cause”

He however noted that praising the Army and the Government is not the only way to show support. “Well, praising, I don’t think it is the only support we can give. You would find that Nigerians were mobilized to support that war and every citizen was making one contribution or the other, in kind, moral or material support. So, it entails material support and moral support in fighting such a cause”.

Culled from lindaikejisblog.com

Former governor of Akwa Ibom State, Victor Attah, yesterday,announced his immediate retirement from partisan politics, but warned that his action should not be misconstrued to mean his joining the All Progressives Congress (APC). Attah, who announced his decision at a press conference organised in his honour by Akwa Ibom Liberation Coalition on Tuesday, at Darty Hotel, Uyo, based his reason for quitting partisan politics on age, which at 77 years on November 20, has graduated him into the elder statesman’s class.

He said at that age, he could still serve Nigeria and the society as others in that class have been doing without necessarily carrying the card of any political party; but stressed that he has always been a committed professional in politics and not a professional or career politician. “So, I can formally state that I have quit partisan politics to play the role of an elder statesman and to continue to serve this country with love, strength, and faith with integrity to the best of my ability.

“Let nobody take this to mean that I want to remain in the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) or therefore, jump to the opposite conclusion that I am going over to APC or any other party for that matter,” he said.

Culled from sunnewsonline.com

The Gents over at Goldman Sachs have a put together a guide to being a man’s man. Some you might not agree with, some you NEED to do right now…  and without further ado…

The Unofficial Goldman Sachs guide to being a man:

• Stop talking about where you went to college.
• Always carry cash. Keep some in your front pocket.
• Rebel from business casual. Burn your khakis and wear a suit or jeans.
• It’s ok to trade the possibility of your 80s and 90s for more guaranteed fun in your 20s and 30s.
• Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row… Unless something really good comes up on the third night.
• You will regret your tattoos.
• Never date an ex of your friend.
• Join Twitter; become your own curator of information.
• If riding the bus doesn’t incentivise you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
• Time is too short to do your own laundry.
• When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.
• If you perspire, wear a damn undershirt.

• Hookers aren’t cool, but remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive.
• When people don’t invite you to a party, you really shouldn’t go.
 And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.
• People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
• When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
• Tip more than you should.
• You probably use your mobile phone too often and at the wrong moments.
• Buy expensive sunglasses. Superficial? Yes, but so are the women judging you. And it tells these women you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.
• Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.
• Eat brunch with friends at least every other weekend. Leave Rusty and Junior at home.
• Be a regular at more than one bar.
• Act like you’ve been there before. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the end zone at the Super Bowl or on a private plane.
• A glass of wine or two with lunch will not ruin your day.

• Learn how to fly-fish.
• No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman.
• Own a handcrafted shotgun. It’s a beautiful thing.
• There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.
• You can get away with a lot more if you’re the one buying the drinks.
• Ask for a salad instead of fries.
• Don’t split a check.
• Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.
• When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.
• Be spontaneous.
• Find a Times New Roman in the streets and a Wingdings in the sheets. She exists.
• Piercings are liabilities in fights.

• Do not use an electric razor.
• Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.
• Buy a tuxedo before you are 30. Stay that size.
• One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.
• #StopItWithTheHastags
• Your ties should be rolled and placed in a sectioned tie drawer.
• Throw parties. 
But have someone else clean up the next day.
• Measure yourself only against your previous self.
• Take more pictures. With a camera.
• Place-dropping is worse than-name dropping.
• Your clothes do not match. They go together.
• Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.
•  Staying angry is a waste of energy.
• If she expects the person you are 20% of the time, 100% of the time, then she doesn’t want you.
• Always bring a bottle of something to the party.
• Don’t use the word “closure” or ever expect it in real life.
• If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.
• Date women outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.
• If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.
• You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.
• If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
• No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.
• Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.
• Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar.
• Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain, and will make you more interesting at a dinner party — provided that you don’t initiate conversation with, “So, who are you reading…”
• Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.
• Don’t ever say, “it is what it is.”
• Don’t gamble if losing $US100 is going to piss you off.
• Remember, “rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”

A lot of the time, people, mostly ladies, say they’ve moved on from the hurt of their last relationship when in reality, they have not. Here are ways to tell if you REALLY have moved on or not. You have not moved on with your life when:

• You think of the person most of the time, even when you don’t want to.
• You keep reliving past memories with him/her, usually the happy/sweet ones.
• You still wonder why the relationship didn’t turn out right, whether the blame should go to you, him or the circumstances.
• The thought/sight of him/her triggers certain emotional reactions, such as aversion, anxiety, frustration, resignation.
• You passionately keep trying to improve yourself because you don’t feel you were good enough for him/her.
• You have a burning desire to make him or her regret breaking up and leaving the relationship.
• The person comes up a lot in your conversations, even when there is absolutely no need for it.
• You keep wanting to contact the person even when you promised never to.
• You find yourself living out the same patterns. A very common example would be on and off relationships with that person. Or being in relationships with other people and repeating the same cycle from your last relationship. This simply reflects that you have not moved on, that there’s a part of you entrenched in the past which is making the same situation re-enact itself, just with a different person.
• You find yourself rating your next partner using the standards of the previous one forgetting that each individual is different.

Basically, if you can relate to any of these signs, then you most probably haven’t moved on and you should so that you can be in charge of your life again.

Finding a house to rent in Lagos can be a strenuous and a prolonged exercise, especially with a lot of people leaving their homes as early as 4am and not returning until 11pm or midnight sometimes. Then weekends are then used for laundry, religious programmes, parties and social visits thereby leaving you practically with no time to do any other thing apart from the routine. So, whether you need a house to rent for the very first time or you are changing apartments due to an upgrade in your pocket or status, these tips will help point you in the right direction and help save some of your time.

DETERMINE THE LOCATION

If you are just saving up for a new apartment or you are trying to draw a budget, knowing the location or the area where you want a house would go a long way in helping you out. When considering location, you might want to think about your place of work – how far or close it is to where you are hoping to get an apartment, how much money you would be spending to and from work, and how accessible your preferred location is to the major road especially since you might be getting home late.

TALK TO LOCAL AGENTS OR GO AROUND AND LOOK FOR ‘TO LET’ SIGNS

Okay, looking around for ‘To Let’ signs might be old-fashioned, but so are some landlords.  Certain homeowners do not want to give their house to some unscrupulous agents, but are hoping someone in the neighbourhood will know someone who needs to rent a house. Again, some homeowners do not want to rent their house to just anyone; they would rather wait for that friend of a friend — which could be you.

You can also talk to house agents; only make sure you talk to reliable ones. It is better for you to ask someone you know and trust to refer you to a house agent who is reliable and trustworthy; you don’t want to be scammed of your hard earned money. Then just give the agent your budget and price range, it would be helpful. You can also search online as we now have many websites dealing with property purchase and rentals.

WATCH OUT FOR FLOOD RISK

The rains in Lagos actually are not the major problem but the floods resulting from them, which normally lead to loss of lives and property. So, one day you might just wake up and you no longer have an apartment or your property is gone. Worse still there could be loss of lives if the flood is heavy. So you might need to ask the experts about the area you want to be moving to. Don’t let the beauty of a particular area convince you into moving there, all that glitters is not gold.

VIEW AT DIFFERENT TIMES OF THE DAY AND TAKE PICTURES

So, let’s say you have now gotten an agent and he is taking you round to check houses in your preferred neighbourhood. When you see one or two that you like; before you make your final decision, go back and view the house at different times; there are flaws you will be able to discover only in the daytime, and there are flaws that can be discovered only at night.

Also remember to take photos, as they’ll be a useful reference point when all the apartments and houses you have found blur into one. Later in the day when you are settled and calmer, you can go through those pictures and make up your mind about which one suits your purpose

CHECK FOR OBVIOUS DEFECTS

Don’t pay rent, commission and agreement in full only to discover obvious defects in the house that could have been fixed by the landlord.

Check for wet spots on the wall, look for cracks up the ceilings, open doors and windows and shut them behind you to make sure they all work.  Flick switches, turn lights on and off, especially those with older switches. Inspect the plumbing, flush toilets and turn taps on, check the drain’s flow. Check your phone and confirm the apartment is not a mobile phone dead zone.

There might be some little issues you can fix by yourself since it’s the apartment you are going to be living in for a while, but for major issues, make a list so you can ask the landlord to fix them before you get the keys.

KNOCK ON THE NEIGHBOURS’ DOORS

Neighbours – and not necessarily the one inside the same house where you are getting your apartment- may offer tip-offs on the area or house. Some landlords have a weird way of treating their tenants; some give quit notice just after one year, while some give you unbelievable rules and regulations after you have moved in. Talking with neighbours around might just give you an idea of the kind of apartment you are planning to move into.

Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined. There is REAL guilt, most of the time for going against God’s principles and commandments and then there’s false or IMAGINED guilt where you haven’t actually sinned, you just think you have. Not to God but maybe going against your own personal moral code. God does not guilt to hold you back from confessing your sins, repenting and continuing thr relationship we have with him. He understand that we are not perfect, all that He wants is for us to come back to Him even when we fall. These are a few steps you can take to overcome your guilt:

• Understand the nature of God’s forgiveness towards you. Know that God will not hold your sins against you if you accept responsibility, feel remorse and ask God for forgiveness.
• Repent of your sins if you haven’t already done so. They big key to being forgiven is true repentance.
• Know that your past sins have been forgiven, and that you are now clean in Christ Jesus. Stop thinking about your past sins and start thinking about the new person you are in Christ. We are NEVER told to mull around our past sins, but rather to forget the things which are behind and press forward. (Phil 3:13, “…this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.”)
• Forgive yourself! A lot of times, we dwell on our wrongs and don’t move forward even when we know we ought to since God has forgiven us. Jesus made it clear that we are to be forgiving, and that includes forgiving yourself. You need to release yourself from the bondage of unforgiveness.

Let go. Let live. Let it be. Don’t dwell on mistakes or injuries. Each day is a new day and a new opportunity. Don’t live in the past because it no longer exists. Be the best you can be, each day, and be in the moment. No matter what, know that God loves you anyway and His grace is sufficient for you.

Culled from myspiritcare.com

It’s been a year of smashing and soul lifting numbers for spoken word/gospel rap sensation BENJISZZY.

Benjiszzy has decided to give us a different side of himself although conveying his usual deep heartfelt lyrics on this extra-ordinary piece he christened “CONFAM” featuring the renowned worshiper and music minister; SAMUEL DIXON.

Download and enjoy….

The human hair adds to the beauty and panache of everyone no matter the gender. Interestingly, it can be styled in different fashionable ways to suit the taste of the individual.

However, there are some few people who are battling with hair loss and are yet to figure out how to prevent their hairline from receding. To help find a solution, Jovago.com, Africa’s No 1 hotel booking portal shares 5 exciting tips to prevent hair loss.

Use Coconut Oil

This recommended for women who use assorted cosmetics products for their hair. It is advisable to adopt coconut oil as their hair cream as the oil can make the hair stronger, tougher and moisturized. It is a perfect anti-hair loss cream and can be purchased at retail outlets around Abuja, Calabar, Badagry and any other part of the country.

Reduce chemical/Dye use

Women are more susceptible to their hair falling off because they use a lot of chemicals and dyes for their hair. This is done in the name of looking good. However, few weeks later, their natural hair will start falling off. Like earlier mentioned, it is better to use coconut oil or carry your natural hair.

Eat Better

The hair requires nutrients, especially iron, to grow and prevent its loss. Regular consumption of spinach, soybeans, beans, eggs and fish will make much difference by halting hair loss. This is why you have to eat right and eat better to forestall hair loss.

Stress

Stress is another major cause of major cause of hair loss. So, if you are encountering this problem, it is advisable to take as much rest as you can.

These are quotes to encourage you and improve your faith in your walk with God.

• Sandra Bullock in “Hope Floats” – God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
• From the movie “Miracle On 34th Street” – Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to.
• Martin Luther King Jr. – Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.
• Claire London- Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. You can’t see the future, yet you know it will come; you can’t see the air, yet you continue to breathe
• Smith Wigglesworth – “How can one come to possess great faith? Now listen, here is the answer to that: First, the blade, then the ear, then the full corn in the ear. Faith must grow by soil, moisture, and exercise.
• George Mueller – The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.
• Rex Rouis – “Faith is hearing Jesus say, “Come.” Believing is actually throwing your leg over the side of the boat.”
• Gloria Copeland – “You can’t stand effectively on “blind” faith. You must have a “knowing” faith, and that comes from believing wholeheartedly what the Word promises. You know God has spoken it and declared it to be so, and you know you can depend on that.”
• Pastor Tim Hall – The world says, “Seeing is believing” – Faith says, “Believing is seeing”.
• Saint Augustine – “Seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand.”

Hope you are inspired.

Culled from boardofwisdom.com and hopefaithprayer.com

If you’ve ever been emotionally abused, you’ll be able to relate through and through with this post. For those who don’t know, emotional abuse  or mental abuse, is a form of abuse characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another to behaviour  that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder. It can also be called psychological abuse. Victims of emotional abuse love differently as a result of the hurt they’ve experienced.   When it comes to abusive relationships, it isn’t always just physical abuse. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging, but in completely different ways. It’s hard to love again after you’ve been manipulated, put down, controlled, belittled, and made to feel worthless by someone who was supposed to love you and care about you. Here are some of the recognizable ways:

1. They keep their distance longer than most: Even if they think they’re really into you, they’re going to keep their distance. They’ll keep you at arm’s length, might not text you back immediately, and definitely won’t want to spend too much time with you. They just don’t want to get too close.
2. They play it close to the chest: After you’ve been emotionally abused, being able to open up freely is painful. They don’t want to put themselves in a vulnerable situation again and when you open up about yourself, that’s exactly what you’re doing. You’re exposing the bits and pieces of you that all of a sudden make you a target. For them, it’s safer if they just keep some things to themselves.
3. They take it slow: I don’t mean just physically slow, but emotionally and mentally slow. Like a wounded puppy, it’s hard not to proceed with caution. It’s just an instinctual way of protecting themselves from further harm.
4. They’re overly-suspicious: When you’ve been with someone who’s put you down over and over — saying you’re no good and are worthless — you just can’t help but wonder why anyone would want you ever again. If you tell them you love them and they look at you weird, it’s not that the feeling isn’t mutual; rather, they’re still a bit unclear as to what about they might be appealing or lovable to someone else.
5. They’re hesitant about getting to know the people in your life: When you start to get to know the friends and family of the person you’re in a relationship with, it means things are getting serious. It also means that your lives are becoming more and more intertwined. It can feel a bit scary, so they proceed with caution.
6. They’re affectionate, but on our own terms: They show their affection on their own terms. They don’t hold hands, cuddle, hug or other displays of affection when you want it; rather when they want it. They take show of affection at their own pace and on their own terms.
7. They assume the worst (but hope for the best): When you’ve been mistreated by someone you love, you automatically build up a wall around your heart. You become guarded, protective, and you hand out your love in pieces, bit by bit. Because this is the case, they naturally assume that things won’t last or that they’ll be hurt again.

These don’t mean that they don’t love in a healthy way; it just means that it takes some time to love and trust again. It’s simply a coping mechanism, and one that works for many of them.

Culled from yourtango.com

Photo Credit: blueribbonproject.org

I stumbled upon these and thought to share. Here are some lovely quotes on relationships from top celebrity authors of best sellers. Enjoy.

• “When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.” ― Jess C. Scott, The Intern
• “I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.” ― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed DeviL
• “You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.” ― C. JoyBell C.
• “For the two of us, home isn’t a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.” ― Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss
• “Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.” ― Gillian Anderson
• “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” ― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life
• “I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
• “If a girl starts out all casual with a guy and she doesn’t tell him that she wants a relationship, it will never become a relationship. If you give the guy the impression that casual is okay with you, that’s all he’ll ever want. Be straight with him from the start. If he gets scared and runs away, he wasn’t right for you.” ― Susane Colasanti, Waiting for You
• “I may not always be with you. But when we’re far apart, remember you will be with me right inside my heart” ― Marc Wambolt, Poems from the Heart
• “We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.” ― Cornel West, Breaking Bread: Insurgent Black Intellectual Life

Culled from goodreads.com

Photo Credit: peacefruit.com

True commitment phobia is fear of any kind of commitment that involves other people, not just relationship commitment. It can involve difficulties making important decisions in all areas of life but folks with commitment phobia need not be afraid of committing to things that do not involve other people. They may have no problem buying a house or a car or getting a dog. Their fear usually is connected with making a promise to another person. Falling in love with a person with commitment phobia can be a nightmare. Watch out for signs of commitment phobia before you find yourself hopelessly in love with someone who is not capable of having a relationship. A person with commitment phobia need not display every one of the following symptoms but the more symptoms he or she displays the more likely it is that he or she suffers from the condition. Here goes:

1. Their past relationships are all short and/or very noncommittal: If your beau has never been married and has had a series of short relationships despite not being all that young, then he or she probably is not likely to commit to a long term relationship in the future either. It’s also a red flag if your romantic encounter has had long relationships but these relationships didn’t involve any serious commitment on his or her part.
2. They are not willing to commit to dates or nights out weeks in advance: Making plans for the future that are not strictly required is a major cause of fear for someone who suffers from commitment phobia. He or she will prefer to make same-day plans or commit only a few days in advance.
3. They are not letting you know whether they are attending your party: Just as a person with commitment phobia will be afraid of agreeing to dates several days or week in advance, he or she will also have difficulties saying “yes” to a party or meeting, unless this is strictly required of them. They may say that they might come to your party or even that they probably will be there. But they will prefer not to say with certainty that they can make it.
4. They use a lot of modifiers when speaking: If you listen carefully, you will hear them use ‘probably’, ‘maybe’, ‘probably not’, ‘I might’, ‘I might not’ and the like much more than other people. If asked when they will be home from work, they won’t say they will be home by 5. Instead they will say that they probably will be home by 5.
5. They are sexually active, perhaps even promiscuous: People with commitment phobia have a need for intimacy like everyone else. But their need is not getting met by being close to another human being. To compensate for this, they may be very sexually active, sometimes bordering promiscuous.
6. Most of their relationships are undefined: If you are in a relationship with a person with commitment phobia, you most likely will not have had any significant conversations with him or her about your relationship. You may find yourself not knowing what kind of relationship you have, despite having been with him or her for several years.
7. They don’t say the L-word: People with commitment phobia have difficulties expressing their feelings. They may even be afraid of having feelings. So they are not likely to say that they love you and also mean it.
8. They don’t like to use the words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”: If your love interest is very commitment phobic, even the relatively innocent words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” will signify more commitment than they are capable of. They may simply avoid talking about the status of your relationship, or they may offer some lame excuse for why they don’t want to use these labels.
9. They don’t have a whole lot of close friends: They may know a lot of people. They may even call them friends. But they don’t have many really close buddies. There is most likely no one in their life they can talk to about everything.
10. They are unpredictable: You never know quite how your love interest will behave or what kind of mood they will be in. One day they may be really sweet and seem almost normal and the next day they may avoid you altogether. Their behaviour never ceases to surprise you.

When you notice some or all these signs in your partner or potential partner, you should start to weigh your options. If you can wait it out, that’s your choice. If you choose to get out the door, that’s your choice too. Just know what you’re getting into and make informed decisions.

Much love!!!

Culled from psychologytoday.com

Photo Credit: eharmony.com.au

Are you wondering if a guy is serious about you? There are some things guys make a conscious effort to not do for women they’re not serious about. So, if you catch your guy doing these, you can be sure he knew exactly what he was doing. And he is hoping to be in it for the long haul.

Ask about “that thing”

If you had a job interview you were nervous about, or a doctor’s appointment, a meeting about a possible promotion, or just something you had once mentioned was coming up and he makes a point of calling you up after to ask how it went, he is serious about you. Men who aren’t serious about a woman make a point of not asking for too many details about her life

Clarify missed calls

Did he take hours to call back? Did he completely forget to text back? If you’re just someone he is having temporary fun with, he isn’t concerned about you getting pissed about those things. But if he makes a point of saying, “Hey, sorry for taking so long, I was hung up in etc, etc” or “Oh my god I just realized you sent me a text when I was at work and I completely forgot to answer! I’m so sorry!” then you’re not someone he is willing to let go of easily. (Men know how much delayed call or text-backs upset us).

Offer to help

When you mention that you’re moving, or putting together some furniture, or looking for a new car, does he jump at the chance to help? Does he often look for ways he can be of service to you? Men don’t do that just for a woman they are trying to sleep with or casually date for a short period of time. They save that type of effort for ones they are serious about.

Plan ahead

If you’re just a fling to him, you are (unfortunately) kind of replaceable. But, if he is serious about you, no one else’s presence will do. You’ll know that is the case if he asks you a significant amount of time ahead of time to reserve a day so that you can be his date to something. That means he wants to guarantee he gets your time.

Care about your career

If he really cares about you, he wants all the other things in your life that make you happy to go as well as possible! If a man has clearly put time into thinking about your career, and coming up with suggestions for how you could advance it or be happier in it, he plans on being around for a while. He is making sure things in your future will be good. Because he plans on being with you then and he wants to be with a woman who is happy.

Brags about you

If he isn’t serious about you, he may bring you to a party or a friend’s get together, but he’ll most likely leave you to fend for yourself. If he is serious about you, he is proud of you, and he will make a point of being near you to introduce you to people and tell them all about you and your accomplishments.

Just wants to cuddle

No man who is trying to keep things casual is going to make the terrible mistake of sending a, “Can’t you just be next to me so we can cuddle?” text. They know that sends a serious signal. If a guy sends this type of text, he likes you

According to TMZ..

Rick Ross and Lira Galore have called off their engagement, less than 2 months after making the leap.

We’re told they had a major blowout, although it’s unclear what it was about — but it was serious enough that Lira moved her stuff out of Rozay’s Georgia mansion.

Ross spontaneously popped the question back in mid-September while they were jewelry shopping in New York. They’d only been dating a few months at that point.

As for the giant 11 carat, $350k rock he gave Lira … so far there’s been no discussion on whether she’ll return it. She still had it on her ring finger in a photo she posted a day ago.

The good news for Rick — legally speaking, the ring is a gift in contemplation of marriage. Translation: Lira gotta give it back.

Though she might want to reconcile … after talking to a lawyer

We don’t know how true this yet since Lira still has her rock on. We’ll keep you updated.

Divine isn’t she? Beautiful Shahida Lamido, second daughter of the Emir of Kano is set to tie the knot with her handsome prince Abdulkhadir Baba Ahmed. See pictures of the gorgeous couple after the cut. The prince is just as good looking as his bride.

A newlywed couple who drowned on their honeymoon were remembered by family and friends yesterday at the same church where they married just two weeks ago.John Rodgers, 28, and his wife Lynette, 26, drowned on October 23 after getting caught in a riptide at Plettenberg Bay, South Africa.

The couple had married at the First Presbyterian Church in Holywood, Co Down on October 17, but yesterday – just two weeks and two days later – their loved ones returned to the church to say their final goodbyes.

Call it being upset, mad, furious, crazy, pissed etc, all these are just synonyms for the word ‘angry’ which is simply an intense emotional response to a perceived provocation. Note the word ‘intense’. This suggests a depth of feeling involved in the expression of tis emotion. Now, how deep are we talking? That really depends on your style of anger which I explained here and in turn, how it is expressed.

People usually excuse the consequences of their anger on nature as they say that since it is a completely natural emotion, it cannot be controlled. Here is where I step in with a larger-than-life placard screaming that the notion is a lie from the pit of hell. The God’s hones t truth is that though hard, anger can indeed be controlled. In case you’re wondering how, I’ll let you in on some tips to help you conquer the ferocious beast called anger which can damage, lives, relationships, families etc.

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can’t get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions. Here’s how:

• Own It: Acknowledge, rather than deny or bury, the anger. This helps, especially when you’re already exhibiting physical signs of anger, to supress it a little by bearing in mind that you’re angry and are consciously trying to control it. Pretending you’re not angry does no good for you, the target of your anger, or your blood pressure. Owning it can help you feel more empowered toward working toward a solution, and it will also diminish the conflict within yourself. You can say something that suggests the fact that it is obvious that you’re getting angry and that’s not going to help matters so you want to slow down a bit.
• Take a Break: Separate yourself from the cause of your anger; you can count to ten, breathe slowly, pace five steps side to side, repeat “take it easy” over and over, say positive things to encourage yourself etc, anything to calm your nerves to control it or prevent your anger from taking root and escalating.
• Restructure your Thinking: Focus on the positive aspects of the situation, not the negative aspects that annoy you. Remind yourself that getting angry won’t fix what is broken and attempt to address the issue logically.
• Express your Anger Constructively: Take time to pick and pace your words so that you’re not misunderstood and convey your true feelings for the subject at hand as solemnly as possible.
• Attempt a Solution: whatever is getting you angry is not quite right; if it were, you won’t be angry over the right things. Instead, face the problem step by small step. Don’t try to find the solution immediately, rather try to solve the things that amount to the big problem and the problem will be solved in no time.
• Use Humour: Though difficult, you can try to find the humour in the situation, at least to have a reason to laugh and dim the anger a bit.
• Share with Someone: Share the cause of your anger with someone who can pacify you and be a listening ear to calm you down and understand your situation. Don’t talk to someone who will only aggravate your near-explosive state, that is a terribly bad idea.
• Avoidance: try very hard to avoid the things that make you want to shut someone up forever and keep away from those things. This will keep you from getting angry frequently and prolong your life in the long run.

So if you know that you’re one of those people who get angry at thje slightest provocation, try out these ways to control your anger and in no time, you’ll be a better person with a more manageable temper.

Love, peace and more love!!!

Seriously speaking, this is not a game. These are ways that have been scientifically proven to make you happy. Aren’t you interested? Come, let’s check it out.

• Exercise: 7 Minutes Could Be Enough – Exercise has such a profound effect on our happiness and well-being that it is an effective strategy for overcoming depression. A study was conducted on people diagnosed with depression and final results showed that the people whose depression was being treated using exercised had relapsed by only 9%. This simply means that the benefits of exercise are many even if you don’t suffer from depression. Exercise can help you relax, increase your brain power, improve your body image even if you don’t lose any weight and also help in releasing proteins and endorphins that make us feel happier.
• Sleep More: You’ll Be Less Sensitive to Negative Emotions – We know that sleep helps our body recover from the day and repair itself and that it helps us focus and be more productive. It turns out sleep is also important for happiness. In NutureShock, Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman explain how sleep affects positivity: negative stimuli get processed by the amygdala; positive or neutral memories get processed by the hippocampus. Sleep deprivation hits the hippocampus harder than the amygdala. The result is that sleep-deprived people fail to recall pleasant memories yet recall gloomy memories just fine. It is not surprising to see that people who had longer sleep at night and slept better have happier and more productive days.
• Spend More Time with Friends/Family: Money Can’t Buy You Happiness – Research has also proved that time spent with friends and family really does affect how happy we feel. George Vaillant directed a 72-year study of the lives of 268 men. In an interview, Vaillant was asked what he had learnt from the study and responded that he learnt that the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people. The Terman study, covered in The Longevity Project, found that relationships and how we help others were important factors in living long, happy lives.
• Get Outside More: Happiness is Maximized at 57 – In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor recommends spending time in the fresh air to improve your happiness. One study found that spending 20 minutes outdoors, preferably in natural serene environments, in good weather not only boosted positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved working memory. Studies also found that happiness is maximized at 57 degrees (13.9°C), so keep an eye on the weather forecast before heading outside for your 20 minutes of fresh air.
• Help Others: 100 Hours a Year is the Magic Number – One added reason we should help others more is that it makes us feel very happy. In fact, 100 hours per year (or two hours per week) is the optimal time we should dedicate to helping others in order to enrich our lives. Shawn Achor says this again in his book “…when researchers interviewed more than 150 people about their recent purchases, they found that money spent on people activities–such as concerts and group dinners out–brought far more pleasure than material purchases like shoes, televisions, or expensive watches”. Spending money on other people, called “prosocial spending” and spending time with people also boosts happiness.
• Practice Smiling: Reduce Pain, Improve Mood, Think Better – Smiling can make us feel better, but it’s more effective when we back it up with positive thoughts, according to this study led by a Michigan State University business scholar suggests customer-service workers who fake smile throughout the day worsen their mood and withdraw from work, affecting productivity. But workers who smile as a result of cultivating positive thoughts–such as a tropical vacation or a child’s recital–improve their mood and withdraw less. Smiling can improve our attention and help us perform better on cognitive tasks and it is also one way to reduce the distress caused by an upsetting situation.
• Plan a Trip: It Helps Even if You Don’t Actually Take One – The simple planning a vacation or break from work, not even actually taking a holiday, can improve our happiness. A study published in the journal Applied Research in Quality of Life showed that the effect of vacation anticipation boosted happiness for eight weeks. After the vacation, happiness quickly dropped back to baseline levels for most people. If you can’t take the time for a vacation right now, or even a night out with friends, put something on the calendar–even if it’s a month or a year down the road. Then, whenever you need a boost of happiness, remind yourself about it.
• Meditate: Rewire Your Brain for Happiness – Meditation is not only great for improving focus, clarity, and attention span, as well as helping to keep you calm; it’s also useful for improving your happiness. Meditation literally clears your mind and calms you down; it’s been often proven to be the single most effective way to live a happier life.
• Move Closer to Work: A Short Commute is Worth More Than a Big House – Our commute to work can have a surprisingly powerful impact on our happiness. The fact that we tend to commute twice a day at least five days a week makes it unsurprising that the effect would build up over time and make us less and less happy.
• Practice Gratitude: Increase Happiness and Satisfaction – Sharing three good things that happen each day with a friend or your partner, and going out of your way to show gratitude when others help you is a great way to increase happiness in your life. Participants in a study included 219 men and women who wrote three letters of gratitude over a 3 week period. Results indicated that writing letters of gratitude increased participants’ happiness and life satisfaction while decreasing depressive symptoms.

Man, this is new knowledge for me too o. Turns out happiness is not just a state of mind but a state of mind influenced by external factors. Hope you were schooled too.

Culled from inc.com