Truth is we can’t always choose who we love. Sometimes, it’s just not as simple as that. Sometimes you fall in love with the wrong person at the right time and you can’t do anything about it. Recently, I read a story on twitter about a girl who lost the love of her life to her best friend. Granted, in her story, she denied the guy when her friend asked about their relationship. Somehow, at the end of the story however, she laid the blame on the friend for breaking the first rule of thumb. Bad for her, good for her friend.
Unfortunately, we cannot always help it. Sometimes we do find our magic in wrong places. Even though a lot of people will swear on their lives that they could never do it, most people actually miss out on a great relationship or a potentially good one out of respect for their friend. But if you have to, here are 6 Don’t’s you should keep in mind:
- Don’t gossip to him about your friend
It’s bad enough that you got the man; you shouldn’t spill secrets too, especially to her ex. If you are the type that pathologically tells your partner everything, learn to draw the line at this. You may find that your friend is never going to be cool with you again. This is one of the many reasons why. She can no longer trust you with her secrets.
- Don’t take sides. Ever!
Even if the years have passed and your friend is happily involved with someone else, you’re still not allowed to talk dirt about one to the other or take one person’s side over the other in discussions or arguments that involved their relationship or breakup
- Don’t compare
No comparisons please. Don’t ever ask him/her who is better. Asides from the obvious fact that this makes you look petty as hell; it is important that you skip the temptation to ask. It will be bad for your relationship and your friendship too (whatever is left of that). Plus you may not like the ugly truth.
- Don’t try to keep them apart or force them to be friends
Trying to keep them apart makes you look paranoid and insecure. Trying to force them to be friends for your sake is encroaching on their boundaries and privacy. They should be allowed to make the decisions on how close they want to be. Don’t try to force it.
Lastly.. Know which exes are COMPLETELY off limits
If the said ex seriously mistreated your friend (we’re talking emotional or physical abuse, infidelity, lying, stealing, etc.), don’t date him ever. No matter how soft you are on him. Let that one go.
