The Gents over at Goldman Sachs have a put together a guide to being a man’s man. Some you might not agree with, some you NEED to do right now… and without further ado…
The Unofficial Goldman Sachs guide to being a man:
- Stop talking about where you went to college.
- Always carry cash. Keep some in your front pocket.
- Rebel from business casual. Burn your khakis and wear a suit or jeans.
- It’s ok to trade the possibility of your 80s and 90s for more guaranteed fun in your 20s and 30s.
- Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row… Unless something really good comes up on the third night.
- You will regret your tattoos.
- Never date an ex of your friend.
- Join Twitter; become your own curator of information.
- If riding the bus doesn’t incentivise you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
- Time is too short to do your own laundry.
- When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.
- If you perspire, wear a damn undershirt.
- Hookers aren’t cool, but remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive.
- When people don’t invite you to a party, you really shouldn’t go. And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.
- People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
- When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
- Tip more than you should.
- You probably use your mobile phone too often and at the wrong moments.
- Buy expensive sunglasses. Superficial? Yes, but so are the women judging you. And it tells these women you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.
- Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.
- Eat brunch with friends at least every other weekend. Leave Rusty and Junior at home.
- Be a regular at more than one bar.
- Act like you’ve been there before. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the end zone at the Super Bowl or on a private plane.
- A glass of wine or two with lunch will not ruin your day.
- Learn how to fly-fish.
- No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman.
- Own a handcrafted shotgun. It’s a beautiful thing.
- There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.
- You can get away with a lot more if you’re the one buying the drinks.
- Ask for a salad instead of fries.
- Don’t split a check.
- Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.
- When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.
- Be spontaneous.
- Find a Times New Roman in the streets and a Wingdings in the sheets. She exists.
- Piercings are liabilities in fights.
- Do not use an electric razor.
- Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.
- Buy a tuxedo before you are 30. Stay that size.
- One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.
- #StopItWithTheHastags
- Your ties should be rolled and placed in a sectioned tie drawer.
- Throw parties. But have someone else clean up the next day.
- Measure yourself only against your previous self.
- Take more pictures. With a camera.
- Place-dropping is worse than-name dropping.
- Your clothes do not match. They go together.
- Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.
- Staying angry is a waste of energy.
- If she expects the person you are 20% of the time, 100% of the time, then she doesn’t want you.
- Always bring a bottle of something to the party.
- Don’t use the word “closure” or ever expect it in real life.
- If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.
- Date women outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.
- If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.
- You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.
- If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
- No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.
- Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.
- Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar.
- Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain, and will make you more interesting at a dinner party — provided that you don’t initiate conversation with, “So, who are you reading…”
- Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.
- Don’t ever say, “it is what it is.”
- Don’t gamble if losing $US100 is going to piss you off.
- Remember, “rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”
