It’s no surprise that breakups happen. It only means that it wasn’t right in the first place or that you’re basically better without it. So in light of these reasons among others, there is absolutely no need feeling so sad and having all sorts of negative feelings. These five steps below can help you allow the light of positivity shine and lift you in your darkest days.
1) Stop Blaming Yourself: The relationship’s is a thing of the past now even if you sometimes wish it weren’t. But one thing’s sure; you gotta move on with your life. In life, people cannot control what comes their way, but they definitely can control how they react to it. So even if you started something, the breakup could have been averted if it wasn’t wanted. So man, take a chill pill and stop blaming yourself for everything. Life can’t be perfectly perfect but we can always work through the bad parts with the faith that the good parts will not elude us. There’ll be a better person for you out there. Be grateful for the time spent with that lovely person and accept that it’s all over. Stop blaming yourself is the first step to healing.
2) Let Go: Pretty sure these two words have been heard like a million times if you’ve been in a breakup before and can get really tiring to keep hearing. But the truth is your really got to let go. That really is the only way you can forge ahead. The memories probably will never leave completely but they sure can fade. Stop frequenting those places that you both went to a lot, don’t do the clichéd drive-by to catch a glimpse of him or her and most definitely, do not stalk the person on social media. Change your music collection if you have to when all the songs bring back memories and try to surround yourself with new faces and make new memories. If need be, create a significant rite of passage; burn or bury some old memorabilia, cry in the rain, whatever helps. To move forward, you have to TRULY let go of the past.
3) Get to Your to-do list: In order to shake off the negative feelings that come with any breakup, get to doing those things you’ve been wanting to do. Use the emptiness productively; go to a party with the girls, go shopping for a new wardrobe, learn a new language, visit your grandparents, rearrange your sitting room, anything, as long as it keeps your hands busy and your head occupied. If you don’t have a to-do list, make one, fill them with things that favour a better you and get them done. Seeing things do better around you inspires positive feelings.
4) Forgive, Pray and Trust in Time: Forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s actually for you; to give you the needed strength in yourself to move on. Absolving yourself of all emotional baggage makes you lighter and smoothens the healing process. Also and very important, pray. Pray for you, for the strength to take the next step in your life; pray for the ex also, that they find peace and happiness. Prayer really does go a long way than most people can even imagine. Most importantly, trust that it won’t be easy but time will heal the scars and wounds and eventually make everything better. You’ll look back at your life and see that you actually made it through that dark time and you’re all the better for it.
I know it ain’t easy but things will definitely get better. Find your inner strength and draw on it. There’s always sunshine after the rain. YOU CAN MAKE IT!!!