Call it being upset, mad, furious, crazy, pissed etc, all these are just synonyms for the word ‘angry’ which is simply an intense emotional response to a perceived provocation. Note the word ‘intense’. This suggests a depth of feeling involved in the expression of tis emotion. Now, how deep are we talking? That really depends on your style of anger which I explained here and in turn, how it is expressed.
People usually excuse the consequences of their anger on nature as they say that since it is a completely natural emotion, it cannot be controlled. Here is where I step in with a larger-than-life placard screaming that the notion is a lie from the pit of hell. The God’s hones t truth is that though hard, anger can indeed be controlled. In case you’re wondering how, I’ll let you in on some tips to help you conquer the ferocious beast called anger which can damage, lives, relationships, families etc.
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can’t get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions. Here’s how:
- Own It: Acknowledge, rather than deny or bury, the anger. This helps, especially when you’re already exhibiting physical signs of anger, to supress it a little by bearing in mind that you’re angry and are consciously trying to control it. Pretending you’re not angry does no good for you, the target of your anger, or your blood pressure. Owning it can help you feel more empowered toward working toward a solution, and it will also diminish the conflict within yourself. You can say something that suggests the fact that it is obvious that you’re getting angry and that’s not going to help matters so you want to slow down a bit.
- Take a Break: Separate yourself from the cause of your anger; you can count to ten, breathe slowly, pace five steps side to side, repeat “take it easy” over and over, say positive things to encourage yourself etc, anything to calm your nerves to control it or prevent your anger from taking root and escalating.
- Restructure your Thinking: Focus on the positive aspects of the situation, not the negative aspects that annoy you. Remind yourself that getting angry won’t fix what is broken and attempt to address the issue logically.
- Express your Anger Constructively: Take time to pick and pace your words so that you’re not misunderstood and convey your true feelings for the subject at hand as solemnly as possible.
- Attempt a Solution: whatever is getting you angry is not quite right; if it were, you won’t be angry over the right things. Instead, face the problem step by small step. Don’t try to find the solution immediately, rather try to solve the things that amount to the big problem and the problem will be solved in no time.
- Use Humour: Though difficult, you can try to find the humour in the situation, at least to have a reason to laugh and dim the anger a bit.
- Share with Someone: Share the cause of your anger with someone who can pacify you and be a listening ear to calm you down and understand your situation. Don’t talk to someone who will only aggravate your near-explosive state, that is a terribly bad idea.
- Avoidance: try very hard to avoid the things that make you want to shut someone up forever and keep away from those things. This will keep you from getting angry frequently and prolong your life in the long run.
So if you know that you’re one of those people who get angry at thje slightest provocation, try out these ways to control your anger and in no time, you’ll be a better person with a more manageable temper.
Love, peace and more love!!!